It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
