Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
