She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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