when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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