Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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