Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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