Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
