the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Terrible idea I love it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
