Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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