Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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