He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
