I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My liver just had a heart attack.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Randomize
