We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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