So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
