really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
