omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
