Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
