I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
