Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
