i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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