Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
