Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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