For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
