So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
