I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
