Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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