Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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