remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
