actually, I'm a sock model
the day after is always just damage control
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
