Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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