You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i love accidental penises.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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