I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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