He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
