She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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