I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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