Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We left the knife in your bed.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
