So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
