Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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