The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
