I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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