Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
