Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
bring money and cleavage
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
