Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
