Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I take back everything I said about communal showers
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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