What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
