Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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