it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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