She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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