11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
