i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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