Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize
